Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
