well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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