shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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