I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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