i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
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MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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