Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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