Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
