idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I didn't shave. On purpose
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
