i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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