So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
