i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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