Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
