Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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