tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I love having hate sex.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
