Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
