If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
