it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
