I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
