have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
