Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
