Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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