I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Drunk is not a location!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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