I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
