there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
