I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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