I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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