My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
