Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
