I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
