I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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