Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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