its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Drunk is not a location!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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