its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
