i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
