I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
