plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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