i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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