Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I forget how to act sober
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
