do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
