Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
