i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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