Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
