Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
