Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
