it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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