Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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