I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize