I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
