either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
