Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
