Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
