Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
