So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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