Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
