How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
smell my finger.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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