On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
