another moral hangover. fuck.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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