I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
