There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
