i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
