been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
